confess to me, every secret moment
[convicted archer] wallowing in self pity

guess it was bound to happen ... well, i'm just accepting it the way it is.




*sigh*


a little bit of good news ... juz a teeny bit ... but it does make ny day a bit better. my lawyer co called and informed that they have issued an ultimatum to the defendant's lawyer co to reply with an offer within 48hrs or i'll be getting 100% of the claim rights .. *now, now... how i wish they would just continue to ignore and chuck that demand letter aside and lemme have the 100% claim* ... hehe ... but the admin staff inf'd further informed that it's very unlikely that they'll do so coz they need to protect the interest of their client. *fuck him la .. claim was done since may '08 and only now he's getting the lawyer, just becoz the writ of summon was issued directly to him..knn, fuckeen old man...ccb!* my lawyer would be hoping for an out of court settlement *read: faster claim, faster time the money geting to me and to the laywers, faster spending of the money.... heh* i just want my money now!!!

48hrs ... i'm counting down


school hols now and the xbox console is out again .... while my son have been busy burning tarmac on his Need For Speed - Pro Street game during the waking hours .. i'm busy battling monsters, demons, casting spells and completing quests ni Fable - The Lost Chapters, during the witching hour. so much so, even colleagues have been saying the my face looked puffed up when i came to work ... guess, it's the lack of sleep.

next time, juz need something to perk me up before leaving for work .. for now, wield thy sword !!!




kau .. yang ku cinta ..
kau .. yang ku sayang ..
kau .. telah mencuri seluruh hati ini ..

kau .. yang berjanji..
ku .. menyintai ..
kau .. telah mungkiri janji janji kepadaku ..

sampai hati kau buat begini
kau hancurkan segala harapan ku terhadapmu
mana janji janji mu yang dulu untuk bersamaku hingga ke akhir hayat aku

kau .. sunggh kejam..
kau .. yang menikam..
aku .. kini jauh tenggelam dalam perasaan ku ini..

sampai hati kau buat begini
kau hancurkan segala harapan ku terhadapmu
mana janji janji mu yang dulu untuk bersamaku hingga ke akhir hayat aku


spent the weekend at my in laws ...

*note to self* ... kids in abundance = me totally exhausted *lol*




the new born twins ..




the kiddos ...











and another weekend coming up .... :)


freakin bad nite, average food .. luckily great company, especially the gal sitting next to me .... heh .. *ehermz* ..who's that gal ey ?










brought the two kids out yest, both of them were having fever but they did enjoy themselves. first was to chong pang and toa payoh, the eldest wanna get a mobile phone. after walking round and round for nearly an hour, he got what he wanted. then the youngest wanted one too ... haizzzz. went for another round for hers. in the end, it was nearly 4 before we headed for town. i managed to grab a pair of renoma shoes (i had badly wanted one for quite sometime, juz lurve the cutting and the feel) and a tie (i'm having only one at the moment). wifey got herself a pair of mng purse, a set of vichy's facial cleansing set and an upgrade of her phone. we then went to window shop. but it was wet tho .. while we were having braking fast at newton. the eldest wanted to try the seafood there and since we were near orchard, that seems to be a good idea.

went home before the rain got really heavy, freshened up and catch the movie 'one more chance' last night with two of my kids as it was broadcasting on ch8. had a talk with them .. is that the way they felt about me? they said no and it's a relief hearing it from them. the eldest asked why he should feel that way when i had done so much for them , i just said "i dunno, some people are just ashamed of having a bad past." but my youngest answer worries me, she said, " it's cool wat daddy .. u r gangster rite? " ... tskk ! i had to start on my lecture again on keeping away from gangs and all that shit. but i know, deep down, they already knew about my colourful past. the eldest had waited for me for four times and the youngest, twice. the eldest could even rattle off the which number i belong to, what gang, etc. *sigh* kids,so impressionable at such a young age ... i have to keep nagging them not to mix with bad company from time to time. how ironic when their daddy was one.

i haven watched this show myself and i guess, it does potray the difficulties an ex-con goes through in pulling himself together and tries to reintegrate back into society. i've heard countless stories of frens, fellow cellmates on how hard it was to get a decent job. and if there are vacancies, it will be those of cleaners or menial jobs that pay lowly. and with families to support, how the hell are they gonna survive on that meagre pay? and out of frustrations, they might just give up and go back to how they know to get easy and good money, fast. can u imagine the temptations of selling illegal vcds which pays average 50-70 bux just for 3-4hrs of work compared to those cleaning jobs that pays $30 for a sweat-drenched 8 hrs of work. or pushing drugs which could get u few hundreds easily per day. the thots of spending life back behind bars seems so far away and even if they do go back, they know they could easily adapt to life back in prison. well, good luck to them lah ... i just hope they do realise their foolishness before it's too late. i have too many frens relapsing, mostly due to drugs and even died from overdose.

may god bless them. *amin*

and yes, i still miss you ......... alot. :(




first day of the month .. a pleasant day to fast , everything went smoothly .. *alhamdullilah*

my cat is still sick .. but recovering. can sense her chirpiness. how i wish it's wednesday tomorrow when she'll be back. i miss her. lots. *meow*





and dear , i do miss you ...

I miss you like the sun misses the flower.
Like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter.
Instead of beauty to direct its light to the heart hardens like the frozen world your absence has banished me to.
It is strange to think, I haven't seen you since that day.
I have seen the new moon, but not you.
I have seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing of your beautiful face.
The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle.
I'll be here next Wednesday, I will find it empty and in the winter if you are not there.
If I could ask God one thing, it would be to stop the moon.
Stop the moon and make this night and your beauty last forever.
And hope guides me.
It is what gets me through the day and especially the night.
The hope that after you're gone from my sight, it will not be the last time I look upon you.


my cat is sick. :( . was quiet the whole day but still managing a feeble smile. ate just a bit what i had prepared. think now should be resting at home. hope would be feeling better by tomorrow and get well soon.

i miss the smile and the antics ...


:(




juz give it thot.... if u could have one more day with a person who had passed on, who would it be? and what will you do or say to that person?

if i were given a choice, dat person would be my maternal grandmother. the one person whom i misses so dearly, who brought me up since i was a baby and the most person that i'm very close to in my family. i missed her a lot. period. i can still remember the day she passed on.... i was still hanging around at the neighbourhood near my school with my buddies. when i reached home ... seeing the red eyes of my aunts and uncles, i knew that she had left. and without me saying my final goodbyes. that was the most fucked up thing i could remember doing till this very day. and regretfully so.

being the most-pampered and most-loved first grandchild touched me to this very day.if i had the chance, i'd like to tell her that i am thankful for everything that she had done and i'm really grateful for everything she had sacrificed for me. and i do love her so much.

*sigh*





and yes, i still miss u ...

ary. laidback. saggitarius -never let anything hold me back or tie me down. am careful of: jealous and possessive lovers

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